i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
