singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
