trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
