Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
