At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
