I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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