I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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