No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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