How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
