what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
