I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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