currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
