Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
