these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This is the high leading the old right now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
