He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
