my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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