3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
