billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize