so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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