I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
