If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
