I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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