What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
