it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
