Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
