I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
