Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I enjoy the company of your penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
