dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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