well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
