She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
