Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
