Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
