that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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