Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
