She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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