i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
