brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
