Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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