i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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