its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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