there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
