I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
