Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
