So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
