what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm like, not good at living.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
