And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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