Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
