My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
