Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
