The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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