I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
