Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
