you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
