i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
