what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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